There have been more than a few books and posts about this, some saying church is too feminine, some saying men are deserting their duty.
I feel a concise, thorough explanation is needed, from someone like me, who used to go to church and really doesn’t care to anymore. In no particular order, behold–why men don’t like church.
- Church focuses don’t appeal to us. What is church, mainly? Endless lessons and prayer and studying. Little to no action. Men want to do things, not just sit around listening to problems or sermons. What is the goal, the objective, of endless lessons presiding over the nuances of random Bible verses? I attended Church of Apostles in Atlanta, and the pastor would often cry out in his “almost sobbing” voice “I weep for what will happen when the crosses are gone!” It was a frequent topic for him. But he never talked about the action we should take. He was excellent at presenting a problem to focus on, but no goal to put effort towards. Men want action and goals. Not endless prayer meetings or sitting around listening to a horrible problem.
- Men=bad/Women=good. Simply put, men are constantly told how we need to better ourselves, we’re falling down on the job, we’re sinful and lustful beasts, etc. Women? To quote one closing prayer at “Echo” the youth group of North Metro Church in Kennesaw, GA, “I know it is difficult to trust a sinful man…” Who wants that garbage day in and day out? If the pastor and men of the church are examples of how you end up if you are a devote Christian who spends his time in Church… count me out. I don’t want to end up like those saps in Fireproof or Courageous, two mega popular movies that tore men down and promoted women.
- What’s the point? What does church fulfill in a man’s life, really? We don’t need it for socialization. Women might love sitting around in groups talking about decorations or their bf’s/husbands and such, but we don’t. We like to socialize in interesting places. Sermons? Most sermons contain nothing we couldn’t easily find ourselves with a little reading online or in a Bible, and without spending all the time as pastors try to fill their 45 minute sermon requirements. Meeting girls? For us single guys, why would we bother in church, where we are constantly told how our desires are bad? I was at a “men’s group” at North Metro, and they talked about “sexually objectifying women if you only approach a girl because you noticed she’s cute.” There are plenty of places we can meet women, where men are not preached as being lustful, shallow beings while women are poor, misled creatures.
In short, why do men not like going to church? There’s nothing to actually do–it’s just talking and prayer, which gets old fast without any goals or objectives. Pastors and sermons are usually pointless, while bashing on men to make women feel better. And lastly, for us single men, it’s a downright lousy place to meet girls.
Why would men like going to church?